I wrote this a while back and I have rediscovered it in my restless wandering. It is a free-flow piece I did, I basically put the pencil to the paper and let it run, with no direction in mind. I hope you enjoy :)
My Reason
The earth which was once full of life, excitement, and bright colors seems to have lost its core, it reeks of lack luster, an eyesore and cold to the touch; perhaps in the fury of expression the human race spread its wings too fast, too furiously, forgetting that the wings were not their own but a gift from heaven, manna from the gods, which were given to them on good faith, with the hope that these simple creatures could arise to clandestine heights, unfettered by the clutches of inferior intelligence, yet the gods did not realize the mistake they had made, for with this intelligence came the fucked up belief that mankind was doomed to fail, that sooner or later hatred, greed or jealousy would catch up and screw everyone over, hell if not those of malicious intent, then sheer circumstance would get in the way, thwarting man from ever reaching its height, for man had indeed forgotten that life itself is a precious gift and small moments of happiness should be held ideal, because if those things aren’t what life is all about, then I’ll be damned if I want to keep living with all of this hate and prejudice that grips society to the core of its being that is truly good, I believe, everyone has it in them to do something good for the world, its just that the world is not perfect, and some people who should have more willpower to survive in their situation end up with less, and some of those who need not have anything but, and make their way through life trying to find a way to make use of their intense spirit. I am Sahil and my reason to live is to help other people, because without others, one is alone, and in turn nothing.
- Sahil Khanna
Thanks for reading :P
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Nervous
I feel like the calm before a thunderstorm. I feel the anticipation in my bones, down to my very cells.
I feel like I'm on the edge. I've been slowly falling down this rocky slope, scraping my knees and hands in the futility of trying to keep myself up, and now I'm about to hit a sharp fall.
Although, heh, this fall is a GOOD thing... I'm just nervous as hell of what is to come...
We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
- Tom Stoppard
Here is to the future *cheers*! :)
I feel like I'm on the edge. I've been slowly falling down this rocky slope, scraping my knees and hands in the futility of trying to keep myself up, and now I'm about to hit a sharp fall.
Although, heh, this fall is a GOOD thing... I'm just nervous as hell of what is to come...
We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
- Tom Stoppard
Here is to the future *cheers*! :)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I love Science :)
I’ve been enjoying my research lab lately; slowly I’m assimilating the knowledge that I need. Freshman year I joined Dr. Bevan’s research group and I was utterly useless, banging my head against the walls of science, trying to draw blood from stone as they say. Seriously, dock the ligand? A protein? I had no clue what that meant.
Sophomore year introduced me to organic chemistry and I noticed carbon chains and hydrogen bonding, and little pieces began to fall into place. I began to come to terms with the infinite void that is science, finally began to look into it without loosing my mind.
Junior year comes the birth of my true eyes, endowed with a dose of biochemistry, and finally I start to transmute the darkness of the void into rich minable ore. Now… If I could only figure out how to prospect knowledge from it, I’d be set!
My latest data are promising, and hopefully I can figure out how to decipher them to get actual, useable information. The culmination of 3 years of research is focusing on this one point! If you really think about it, everything we do, everything we have ever done in, leads up to this one point in life. Laughter ensues simply because these “points” also include sitting on the toilet or those times when you trip on nothing and hoping no one sees ;)
“One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time.” – Martin A. Schwartz
Test test presentation test! Oh what a week this well be!
<3 Sahil
Sophomore year introduced me to organic chemistry and I noticed carbon chains and hydrogen bonding, and little pieces began to fall into place. I began to come to terms with the infinite void that is science, finally began to look into it without loosing my mind.
Junior year comes the birth of my true eyes, endowed with a dose of biochemistry, and finally I start to transmute the darkness of the void into rich minable ore. Now… If I could only figure out how to prospect knowledge from it, I’d be set!
My latest data are promising, and hopefully I can figure out how to decipher them to get actual, useable information. The culmination of 3 years of research is focusing on this one point! If you really think about it, everything we do, everything we have ever done in, leads up to this one point in life. Laughter ensues simply because these “points” also include sitting on the toilet or those times when you trip on nothing and hoping no one sees ;)
“One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time.” – Martin A. Schwartz
Test test presentation test! Oh what a week this well be!
<3 Sahil
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Natural Flow of a Writer
From our minds flow…
… ideas, back to back, again and again. Ideas so fleeting, so voluminous, that trying to catch them all would be futile, but still we try. Our hearts ache, watching these dreams fly by, reaching out to find nothing, constantly wondering what could have been. Finally one falls into our hands, our fingers tingle with anticipation, a purpose, a goal. Perhaps to let others know our story, or maybe just the act of recording in protest of the bitterly short time we are given, to live on past our bodies as something more. At these times anything seems possible, all roads are the ones less taken, and anything can make all the difference, so we grab our pencils…
And from our pencils flow…
… words that we never did imagine, words falling swiftly down the arm, spilling over each other to be imprinted in false timelessness. The force, staggering, the flow unending, uncontrollable, unstoppable and still, unable to quench the thirst, the thirst to go on and on, to chisel something, anything, everything onto the stone cold surface of the behemoth known as history. Horrible thirst that knows no rest, and in turns allows no rest, and the lack there of is tiring, yet to be tired is what we yearn. This tired is not something to be avoided, not a plague, instead it is like that oh so scrumptious hot apple pie doused in cold vanilla ice cream that hurts so good. The killer combo of burnt tongue and brain freeze can’t outweigh the heavenly flavor which keeps us chiseling and scratching until we feel like we can’t go on. Eyes glance at the paper...
And then from our hearts flows…
… life, pure and simple, delicate and full of potential. Spider-silk warmth spreads to every part of the body, leaving you more in tune with your stiff little toes than ever. A connection so dense, so completing that one side of your dichotomy cries “It hurts…” and the other side replies “But it was worth it”. The body and soul function as one, oozing sweet contentment, refreshing tired minds, energizing rough worn hands, filling that not-so-secret hole (at least for a while) with love, courage, pride, all that gooey shit. The behemoth spills a few drops of blood, and the idea occurs that it really wasn’t that difficult now that you’ve started, so why should you stop….
And on and on still, until….
… the page is embellished, solid blocks fall away, and from the destruction emerges a new history; a phoenix flaming verses and signed in ink, burning brightly in the darkness of history. A history reborn, telling of our epic struggle to overcome the behemoth, to create beauty from the naked rock, strife and joy and sorrow…
Suddenly an idea strikes anew …
******************************************************************************************
This is a free write piece I wrote a little while back. I miss getting the chance to just put my pencil to a page and GO with it... Hopefully after this rush of work is over, I'll be able to relax some to write again :)
Enjoy, critique, and comment!
<3
Sahil
… ideas, back to back, again and again. Ideas so fleeting, so voluminous, that trying to catch them all would be futile, but still we try. Our hearts ache, watching these dreams fly by, reaching out to find nothing, constantly wondering what could have been. Finally one falls into our hands, our fingers tingle with anticipation, a purpose, a goal. Perhaps to let others know our story, or maybe just the act of recording in protest of the bitterly short time we are given, to live on past our bodies as something more. At these times anything seems possible, all roads are the ones less taken, and anything can make all the difference, so we grab our pencils…
And from our pencils flow…
… words that we never did imagine, words falling swiftly down the arm, spilling over each other to be imprinted in false timelessness. The force, staggering, the flow unending, uncontrollable, unstoppable and still, unable to quench the thirst, the thirst to go on and on, to chisel something, anything, everything onto the stone cold surface of the behemoth known as history. Horrible thirst that knows no rest, and in turns allows no rest, and the lack there of is tiring, yet to be tired is what we yearn. This tired is not something to be avoided, not a plague, instead it is like that oh so scrumptious hot apple pie doused in cold vanilla ice cream that hurts so good. The killer combo of burnt tongue and brain freeze can’t outweigh the heavenly flavor which keeps us chiseling and scratching until we feel like we can’t go on. Eyes glance at the paper...
And then from our hearts flows…
… life, pure and simple, delicate and full of potential. Spider-silk warmth spreads to every part of the body, leaving you more in tune with your stiff little toes than ever. A connection so dense, so completing that one side of your dichotomy cries “It hurts…” and the other side replies “But it was worth it”. The body and soul function as one, oozing sweet contentment, refreshing tired minds, energizing rough worn hands, filling that not-so-secret hole (at least for a while) with love, courage, pride, all that gooey shit. The behemoth spills a few drops of blood, and the idea occurs that it really wasn’t that difficult now that you’ve started, so why should you stop….
And on and on still, until….
… the page is embellished, solid blocks fall away, and from the destruction emerges a new history; a phoenix flaming verses and signed in ink, burning brightly in the darkness of history. A history reborn, telling of our epic struggle to overcome the behemoth, to create beauty from the naked rock, strife and joy and sorrow…
Suddenly an idea strikes anew …
******************************************************************************************
This is a free write piece I wrote a little while back. I miss getting the chance to just put my pencil to a page and GO with it... Hopefully after this rush of work is over, I'll be able to relax some to write again :)
Enjoy, critique, and comment!
<3
Sahil
Friday, February 13, 2009
Hmm
So I went to bed at 11 hoping to sleep relatively "early" (compared to the 2's and 3's it has been lately) and my brain goes, "Sahil its been your usual 4 hours! Wake up!!" and knocks me awake at 3 am...
Crazy brain...
-Sahil
Crazy brain...
-Sahil
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Fights with Loved Ones
A serious argument with someone that you love is never a fun experience, and I'm positive that all of you have had to deal with it at some point or another. Fights like that have a tendency to escalate way out of hand and swerve completely off the original cause of the fight. They just leave you drained and feeling like nothing is solved.
I haven't lived a long life, but I've tried to learn as much from it as I can. One thing I like to do, is read a lot. And I remember reading some advice about fights from a book.
When you are arguing, do these two things:
1. Speak slowly and softly. Softly is key here. Control your voice and you can control your words. As obvious as it may sound, it is harder than you would think.
2. Avoid generalizations, especially "You do ... every time" or anything with "always". Instead use "feels like", or "seems to me that". "You said .... " to "I thought you said..."
ex. "You ALWAYS do this!" ---> "I feel like you do this a lot..."
It sounds like a little useless bit, but it really works. It keeps the conversation from going off topic. If you use "always" "every time" the other person feels forced to defend themselves, and instantly points out fallacies, and then from there the argument degrades into each person trying to trip the other one up.
Don't know where this came from, I just want more people to know about the "I feel like" "seems to me" bit, because I've witnessed many fights that could potentially be useful go down the drain.
<3 - Sahil
I haven't lived a long life, but I've tried to learn as much from it as I can. One thing I like to do, is read a lot. And I remember reading some advice about fights from a book.
When you are arguing, do these two things:
1. Speak slowly and softly. Softly is key here. Control your voice and you can control your words. As obvious as it may sound, it is harder than you would think.
2. Avoid generalizations, especially "You do ... every time" or anything with "always". Instead use "feels like", or "seems to me that". "You said .... " to "I thought you said..."
ex. "You ALWAYS do this!" ---> "I feel like you do this a lot..."
It sounds like a little useless bit, but it really works. It keeps the conversation from going off topic. If you use "always" "every time" the other person feels forced to defend themselves, and instantly points out fallacies, and then from there the argument degrades into each person trying to trip the other one up.
Don't know where this came from, I just want more people to know about the "I feel like" "seems to me" bit, because I've witnessed many fights that could potentially be useful go down the drain.
<3 - Sahil
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Fuel for the Fire
This morning, I woke up early, and I cut some wood for our fireplace!
It might sound mundane to you, but it was an adventure for me. I "found" some wooden pallets a while back, and I put them aside, thinking I might put them to use. Yesterday I bought a hand saw, and borrowed gloves and a hammer.
7 am, sun just peaking over the edge, I wrapped myself up in a few layers and I stepped out into the cold, hoping I didn't look as ridiculous as I felt. I had no clue what I was doing. I walked up to the pallet and just looked at it for a min, saw in one hand, hammer in the other.
Two hours later, I had demolished half a pallet and a smile on my face. Arms sore, I went to take a shower.
I think I'll be up early again tomorrow :)
It might sound mundane to you, but it was an adventure for me. I "found" some wooden pallets a while back, and I put them aside, thinking I might put them to use. Yesterday I bought a hand saw, and borrowed gloves and a hammer.
7 am, sun just peaking over the edge, I wrapped myself up in a few layers and I stepped out into the cold, hoping I didn't look as ridiculous as I felt. I had no clue what I was doing. I walked up to the pallet and just looked at it for a min, saw in one hand, hammer in the other.
Two hours later, I had demolished half a pallet and a smile on my face. Arms sore, I went to take a shower.
I think I'll be up early again tomorrow :)
Friday, January 9, 2009
Family Party
So as I'm writing this, the loads of Indian aunties and uncles are sitting downstairs in the living room singing and laughing, having a good time :)
It makes me happy to see them all enjoying themselves, and knowing that the fun really doesn't end even though you have to worry about a career and paying the bills.
While they are all down there, I'm sitting upstairs in my sister's room with Neety, Prateek, and my sister. These of my ilk, and we talk about what its like to be Indian kids growing up in the US. We sit here and discuss how the future will be like, how our parties will be similar or diffrent to ones like this one. This is always my favorite part about these get togethers because Saleena and Neety understand what its like trying to bring your parents to accept new ideas.
Side note: Back to 501 tomrrow! I miss that place like you miss your pillow during a longggg day, I feel like I can't truly rest anywhere else.
It makes me happy to see them all enjoying themselves, and knowing that the fun really doesn't end even though you have to worry about a career and paying the bills.
While they are all down there, I'm sitting upstairs in my sister's room with Neety, Prateek, and my sister. These of my ilk, and we talk about what its like to be Indian kids growing up in the US. We sit here and discuss how the future will be like, how our parties will be similar or diffrent to ones like this one. This is always my favorite part about these get togethers because Saleena and Neety understand what its like trying to bring your parents to accept new ideas.
Side note: Back to 501 tomrrow! I miss that place like you miss your pillow during a longggg day, I feel like I can't truly rest anywhere else.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Coded Language
Coded Language - great song from Saul Williams
The creativity of some people simply blows me out of the water. Saul Williams is one of those. His word acrobatics, and his ability to tie in complex ideas into brief phrases is simply amazing.
Favorite lines:
"We are not afraid of the darkness, we trust that the moon shall guide us."
We must believe in our instinct, and know that the correct path will reveal itself.
"We now know that the heart is the philosophers' stone
Our music is our alchemy"
Infinite youth and endless wealth are results of our souls singing.
"We stand as the manifested equivalent of 3 buckets of water and a hand full of minerals,
Thus realizing that those very buckets turned upside down
Supply the percussion factor of forever."
'Nuff said.
Please go youtube it and enjoy :)
Sahil
The creativity of some people simply blows me out of the water. Saul Williams is one of those. His word acrobatics, and his ability to tie in complex ideas into brief phrases is simply amazing.
Favorite lines:
"We are not afraid of the darkness, we trust that the moon shall guide us."
We must believe in our instinct, and know that the correct path will reveal itself.
"We now know that the heart is the philosophers' stone
Our music is our alchemy"
Infinite youth and endless wealth are results of our souls singing.
"We stand as the manifested equivalent of 3 buckets of water and a hand full of minerals,
Thus realizing that those very buckets turned upside down
Supply the percussion factor of forever."
'Nuff said.
Please go youtube it and enjoy :)
Sahil
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Ablexxive
Ablexxive - Overly confusing
Welcome,
I just want a place to blah blah blah. I think a lot of things, and most of the time these things don't follow any logical path. This is me trying to align some of it.
How about we do the ol' 5 things about me:
1) My dear friends are everything to me.
2) Words make me happy, words like Retribution, Meander, and of course Ablexxive make me smile.
3) I love my family, though they can be a bit much sometimes.
4) I have random hobbies and they come and go.
5) This blog will probably make no sense most of the time, but hopefully it will keep me sane.
Welcome to mai mind :)
Sahil
Welcome,
I just want a place to blah blah blah. I think a lot of things, and most of the time these things don't follow any logical path. This is me trying to align some of it.
How about we do the ol' 5 things about me:
1) My dear friends are everything to me.
2) Words make me happy, words like Retribution, Meander, and of course Ablexxive make me smile.
3) I love my family, though they can be a bit much sometimes.
4) I have random hobbies and they come and go.
5) This blog will probably make no sense most of the time, but hopefully it will keep me sane.
Welcome to mai mind :)
Sahil
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